Healing of Bipolar Disorder and Depression

I was the type of person with emotional ups and downs and violent mood swings daily. People around me felt uncomfortable and had unpleasant feelings towards me. My effort to fix such my bad character showed no results. In happy moods I burst into laughter for no reason and am very nice and kind to the people around me. In unhappy moods I feel annoyed and distressed for no reason, leading me to physical exhaustion that creates friction and quarrels with others.

I learned that the symptoms in me were of Bipolar Disorder, and gradually I began to admit it. According to my self-diagnosis, the symptoms were not severe enough to go to see a doctor for a medical treatment. I had no idea how to resolve it. Without proper treatment I had to manage my daily friction with people.

Besides that, I had depression. I always sighed at my fate and indulged in self-pity, resulting in sentimental feelings. Although I went shopping and drank beer to change my feelings, it did not work at all. When my depression rapidly worsened, I considered suicide and asked myself, “Isn’t my life tough? Shall I die?”

I started to attend church. As I understood God more and was touched by His love and grace, my mental illness seemed to get better. I was assured that I had less emotional suffering after my broken heart was healed through Jesus Christ. However, I could not help that suddenly reproducing my symptoms because the root cause was not dealt with.

Through the spiritual healing counseling at the Korean Church of Bethlehem I found a way to get complete healing of my bipolar disorder and depression. By giving up my pride and egoism, I admitted my shortcomings and bad personality. Afterwards, I have experienced the renewal of my heart through daily practical training to change my personality and correct my shortcomings. I no longer have depression and emotional ups and downs. I live in peace and joy in the grace of God and try hard to endure and be humble. I used to be so emotional, but now I can think rationally. I see myself renewed with endurance and self-control.

In my daily prayer and in the word of God, I look at myself and receive His grace. Then, I am filled up with His joy and live in His comfort and peace. Depressive and sentimental emotions disappeared by themselves. I know that it can only happen by the power of God. I give so much thanks to God.

Deliverance from Paralyzing Nightmares

Whenever I went to bed without being filled with the Holy Spirit, around 2 or 3 AM I suffered heavy oppression in my chest and neck area due to paralyzing nightmares. If I felt unstable before going to bed, I would hold the Bible in my chest or a cross necklace in my hand. I also had a frightful experience where a female ghost looked disapprovingly at me. I was horrified by hearing the sound of a baby crying and visualizing the scene so vividly.

On Sunday I talked to Pastor Elisha about those paralyzing nightmares to ask her for help. She explained to me that the powers of darkness had attacked to kill me in the paralyzing night terror. She put her hands upon me for prayer and cast out the powers of darkness in me. Every Sunday she has prayed for me by laying her hands upon me. I do not have night terrors any more.

People tend to hold no regard for paralyzing nightmares. They lightly say, “I had a paralyzing nightmare last night.” But, not only did I learn that paralyzing nightmares are related to the powers of darkness resulting from spiritual problems, but also that they can cause life and death situations.

God delivered me from the evil powers of darkness. I thank God’s love and His protection for me.

Chronic Fatigue and Malignant Influenza Are Healed

Since my early twenties I had worked under pressure and suffered physical sluggishness and exhaustion most of the time. On my days off I felt so drained of energy so that I had to stay in bed all day long. This kind of physical exhaustion continued until my thirties. Because I felt low in nerve energy, I wanted to drink powerful energy drinks, such as Bacchus or Red Bull. I thought to myself that I had become lazy and lethargic, but could find no way out.

I started attending church after I came to the United States. At revival meetings and prayer meetings I experienced momentary healing with pastors’ hands laid on me. When I was full of the Holy Spirit or touched by the grace of God, my body felt up with no more exhaustion, which made me understand the spiritual aspect of it. But, the cause of my illness was not known yet.

In addition, I suffered malignant influenza at least twice a year. In Korea I went to see a doctor for an injection and a prescription of medicine every time. Here in the USA I took prescribed medicine, too. While I was staying in bed and taking the strong prescribed medicine over a period of a week, my mind became blank. I suffered from confusion in the exchange of life for death.

After I came to the Korean Church of Bethlehem and started the spiritual healing program, I was completely liberated from my painful chronic fatigue and the dreadful malignant influenza. I am very thankful to God, who healed me of my longtime suffering. Hallelujah!

Freed from Nightmares

I had suffered from nightmares before I believed in Jesus Christ. For instance, I would be chased by a ghost in a dark cave overnight. The most frequent nightmare I had was a scene in an elevator. When I took an elevator, it would suddenly be broken and the 100-story building rose into the sky with at the highest speed or crashed down to the ground. Not only that, I had so many nightmares where I was locked in an elevator while horrified inside. I had a similar experience as this dream when I was little. I went to visit my relatives in Seoul and was locked in the elevator of their high-rise apartment building for over half an hour. Pastor Elisha interpreted for me that because of that shocking memory, I was suffering in my dreams.

Another nightmare was that while someone was chasing me, I would be frozen with horror and could not run away. So I was terrified for the entire night in my dream. Another kind of nightmare was about my work in Korea. A scene where I was working under severe pressure repeated and oppressed me in my dream. When I woke up in the morning, I was left with an unpleasant feeling and physical tiredness. It happened to me so many times.

Through the spiritual healing counseling I understood that the oppression in nightmares was given by the powers of darkness related to spiritual problems. I decided to continue the counseling sessions with Pastor Elisha. She prayed for me by laying her hands on me regularly. I read the Bible every day very hard to build my faith in the Lord. God helped me resolve the spiritual cause of my oppression. Now, I am completely freed from the nightmares of the powers of darkness.

Deliverance from Oppression

While I was receiving the spiritual healing counseling at the Korean Church of Bethlehem, God helped to deliver me from the oppression of the powers of darkness from which I suffered for a long time.

With the help of God I was able to cut off thirteen years of wrong relationship with a woman whom I called ‘Sis’ from Korea. Since I thought we were closer than our own family members, I financially supported the poor Sis for her university tuition and graduate school tuition as well as her living expenses. She comforted me with her sweet words that she would pay me back as soon as she found a job after graduation. She promised me to send me to university if I wanted, and to help and take care of me for the rest of her life. I was looking forward to receiving financial and psychological rewards from her. That was why I could put up with all of my suffering with patience. I really wanted her to be successful for my future.

During that time she went back to Korea due to stomach cancer, which made my life more miserable. For the two years of her stay in Korea I had to send her money for her medical treatment and loan payments. I had more than two jobs and worked late to make more money. It was the toughest time in my life and my soul and body seemed to be getting more ruined day by day. Even though I was aware that I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I abandoned myself to it with the thought that it was too late to get out. I was too foolish and naïve that I completely trusted in her with affection. I was too dumb to look out for myself. I was being dragged her way. I wasted all of my energy for her in my young days in this country, and was used by her financially and physically.

Four years ago she married a fine man and bore two sons. She has a high-salaried job, a nice car, and a beautiful house. To me she has a perfect life as a successful foreign student who completed school and happily married in the United States.

I have been with the Korean Church of Bethlehem for over three years. God has poured out to me abundant comfort, hope, and spiritual understanding. Thanks to God’s grace, I, who had been under the oppression of the powers of darkness, was able to release the worry, anxiety, and anger in me. Now, I live with peace and joy in the word of God. My heart was beginning to get opened up at the Korean Church of Bethlehem. When I could trust in Pastor Elisha for the spiritual healing counseling, I confessed my miserably heartbroken story to her with tears. Pastor Elisha told me to cut off the relationship with her and not to meet her anymore. However, I could not understand her reasoning.

As time went by, the Holy Spirit opened my spiritual eyes. I could understand why she said that to me. The ten years I had with Sis were under the powers of darkness, which caused me spiritual destruction, oppression, and restless suffering in danger. The Holy Spirit helped me see her evil heart, revealing that there would be no reward for me. Rather than reward, she will harm me worse than before.

I did not want to accept what I realized about her. I could not give up the rewards to which I was entitled. However, through the help of the Holy Spirit, I understood that it would be wiser to cut off my relationship with her. I stopped contacting Sis after she moved out of state a year ago. I emptied my heart with no lingering affection and no anger against her. I completely removed her from my memory and life. In previous times it was impossible for me to handle the resentment and anger from the oppression and the long-time suffering. God’s comfort made up for my financial and physical loss. Not only that, he healed my broken heart. In such grace of God I live with joy day by day. God is good!

Being Changed

Pastor Elisha gave me an assignment to daily read five pages of the Bible and to daily praise God with three hymn songs. I started the reading from Matthew, which helped me understand the life of Jesus Christ more clearly than before. I could taste the profound and sweet word of God. My colleagues and friends teased me by saying, “Aren’t you going to be a pastor soon?”

They probably felt my change from my manner of speaking and actions. I also read the Bible with my daughter, and made myself a promise to read it more. My hardened heart was melting slowly like cotton candy. Just like the sweet and soft melting thing soaking into me, I felt peace very often.

I recommend reading the Bible to people without hesitation. I try to associate the word of God with my thoughts and actions in my daily life. In other words, God’s words in the Bible became a guideline for my daily life. I do not feel good if I skip reading the Bible a day.

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)

The Korean Church of Bethlehem is different! Church members are knowledgeable of the Bible. It was a fresh shock to me that a number of people can pray in tongue naturally and beautifully. It did not look strange to me that most of the members want to have the pastors’ prayer by having the pastors lay hands on them.

I still have fear of receiving such prayer from pastors. However, through the four gospel books that helped me understand the work of Jesus Christ, I have confirmed and experienced that the ministries of the Korean Church of Bethlehem are truly biblical to glorify God.

Last fall, I had a marvelous dream. There was a man in front of me, speaking something and coming closer to me while I was filled up with joy. Suddenly, an extremely bright light shining in his chest came right into me and made me laugh ceaselessly with the happiest feeling ever. Next to me Pastor Elisha was smiling like an innocent little angel. Then, I woke up.

Everyone said with one voice, “It is a good dream. Good things will happen,” or “The light of the Holy Spirit came into you,” or “God loves you so much.”

After I had the dream, some good things really happened to me. I made a new business deal with a troubled customer. A long-time account receivable was received. A new customer signed a large amount of contract. A lot of exciting things happened to me one after another.

I began to realize the love of God that I had heard by lips and had known as knowledge had actually blessed me. It used to be difficult to read one page of the Bible. Now, it is getting less difficult than before. I can read at least five or six pages at once. I hum hymn songs to myself and pray while driving my car.

I made myself a promise to have faith in God wholeheartedly. I got to know how nice God is and experienced being touched by Him who was pleased with my very trivial change. I am not going to draw back even one foot.

God, you are love. Hallelujah!